10 June 2013

As She Grows Older, Parenting Gets Tougher

My almost five-year-old and I fought so bad tonight (technically, yesterday). I was making her drink her milk when she refused and instead, intentionally spilled it on our new couch! I felt my now-lost blood immediately rushed through my nape. It hit the spot where it told me to yell. "What did you do?!?! Why do you have to do that?!?!? Look at what you've done!!!!" And my baby girl, shocked and not knowing what to answer, cried - as loud as I shouted. Like a pinball hitting the jackpot, an aphrodisiac to my anger - I told her to go to her room and fix her toys instead while I was cleaning up.

In her room, I heard a loud bang. She opened her window and was tapping the roof of the kitchen! My jaw was clenching like a tuna from GenSan when I saw her. What made me feel worse was that she didn't know I was already furious! The unbelievable happened.

I gave justice to my stress. My slippers talked to her butt: 5 light times.

It sounded like I'm such a mean mom. Yes, stone me to death all you want, oblige me! I really felt the worst. I feel so bad for doing that, for hearing her weeping like a widow and when she was catching breath 'cause of too much crying, she uttered in between hiccups "Nanay, you're making me die." Oh God, You know how I dreaded that moment. I wanted to bury myself in darkness. I didn't know what she could have been thinking of me. Did I look like Rapunzel's fake mom who locked her in the tower? Or Ravena in Snow White and the Huntsman? I hope none of the two.

What I've learned from what happened was that kids can only remember their first offense.

We talked after the slippers-to-butt conversation and she bawled like crazy when I asked her why I got mad. She said while wiping her nose, "beecohs I speelled my milk on the couch. T'was accident, Nay." I hugged her and cleaned her up. Perhaps she knows we were not okay that she faced the wall and slept on her own. I sensed the awkwardness and showered her with kisses and hugs and sweet nothings - until she fell asleep in my arms, like she used to when she was a baby.

When you get to read this someday, my dear Sophia, I want to let you know how I am trying my best to discipline you. We're not enemies, okay? As much as I would like us to be best shopping buddies and all, I need to to do my job as a parent to you. Your father will kill me if you'll grow up with a bratty-tude. I hope when you become a mother someday, you will never ever be like me. I'm sure you can find an alternative discipline tactic. Just pray your child will not as rowdy as you are, or else you'll be like me. Hunny, I love you is an understatement.


  1. I feel your pain Denise. Pero, talagang it happens that you lose your cool. The good thing is that you explained why you spanked her. Maiintindihan na nya yun. I believe kids are smart and sometimes, you have to treat them like adults. Naku, magugulat ka sa insight nila! Next time, pwede nang threat na lang ang pag-spank. Basta, explain why you did it if it happens again. Cheer up!

  2. Parenting is not easy. It's really difficult if your kids are acting like that. Every move you make or words you say can define your child when she grows older. I saw in FB how to deal your child depending on age brackets. Very interesting. If I can remember it right it is on Net TV channel. The title of the show, Homepage..

  3. "Nanay, you're making me die." --- nakakaloka this! reminds me of my kids.. kapag pinapagalitan ko or nagdradrama mode kami, hihirit ng "patay mo nlng ako mama" hays. iba na tlga ang mga kids ngayon. kakastress drilon! hope bati na kayo ni LB :)

  4. I so know how you feel...

    They're at this testy age when they test your patience because they know they can. Hindi yung tamang kulit lang. Kaya I can so relate to the tuna from Gen San panga moment. Ganyan ako pag nanggigigil na sa galit. :(
    Although hindi ko pa naman sya napalo na masakit talaga, (although may times na sa gigil ko napipisil ko sya sa arms) nasigawan ko na sya not more than once. And I feel bad after too, especially when she says "Ayoko galit mama... Wag ka na galit..." I can be monster mom din ng bonggang bongga.

    Pero you know what, we're actually closer because of these moments. Mas naging malambing sya sa akin for some reason. And she does remember the 'lessons' of those times.