Of Faith and Diaper Needs

When I was pregnant with Sammy, I vowed to breastfeed her till she wants to. I was confident my girl would latch well, I also felt I would have an abundant supply. My intuition was right after all. I’m quite proud of actually doing it for two beautiful years now not only because I believe that breastmilk is best but also because we saved a lot of money! I’m sure you all know how pricey formula milk is. That was the motivation—to never buy formula milk.

So while I was preparing my body for breastfeeding, I gradually bought her things. With nine years gap between her and big sister Sophia, I literally have no baby stuff stored. I told my mother-in-law and my husband about my dilemma. My MIL said something like, “don’t worry, God will provide”. And He sure did! Few weeks after I gave birth, my relatives from the States sent us a huge box filled with US-made Huggies and lots and lots of clothes! I remembered I secretly wept that night as I prayed before sleeping. How God uses certain people to bless us still amazes me.

Sammy's Jollibee Costume

It was mid-November last year when my husband told me about their office Christmas party theme for the kids. He specifically reminded me to prepare cartoon character costumes for our girls. In his cranky tone (via text, yes there is such a thing) because I was being difficult (his life would be so boring without me duh), he said he doesn't like it that we'd be the first ones to not follow orders. But because no one ain't the boss of me (not even his commanding officer hahaha, sorry sir), I decided on fast food theme costumes for us three. Passion on food and motherhood, yes?

Sammy wore it at Manila Ocean Park for her 2nd Birthday

Wait, before you label me as a subversive military wife, the truth was, I really can't think of cool cartoon characters that would separate us from the Elsa-Anna narrative. I initially wanted Phineas and Ferb for my girls and I can be Dr. Doofenshmirtz but the wigs would be a problem for sure. And most importantly, the people attending might not grasp the concept. You know what I mean? Like, sayang naman yung pagka-cool kung kami lang nakakaintindi sa amin. Nerd alert, right? Haha.

Then in the middle of my breastfeeding sesh one wee hour of the morning, I thought of Powerpuff Girls! Sophia will be Bubbles, Sammy of course will be Buttercup and I would be Blossom. When I told my husband about it, his text tone was unenthusiastic; he clearly was not impressed. I virtually rolled my eyes on him (like I always do). I couldn't give up just like that. Being extra is in my DNA so I squeezed whatever creative juice I have left in my brain.

Nu-ni-nu-ni-nu.

Why We Quit Homeschool

I shared here why we decided to homeschool Sophia last school year so I think it's just fair to also share why we quit. At first, I was ecstatic to tell our story, to say what needs to be said especially to those who want to try and were asking how and why. But as days passed, I grew little by little uninterested to even talk about this. My mind, heart and soul were shattered into pieces. That was how homeschooling and quitting it affected me, just like a toxic relationship break-up that I couldn't wait to move on from.

I want a happier us, that is why.

Please don't get me wrong, I don't hate homeschooling. In fact, methinks it's the best education for all types of children. It really is! Being hands-on to my two kids since day one, I have learned that a child's development in all aspects requires a good relationship with her parents. Isn’t it that adults with antagonistic behavior are tagged as someone with sad childhood? Or that when someone is being a troll online, people would be quick to say that that person is “kulang sa aruga” or that “hindi yan love ng mama niya”. It may sound funny especially on that context but it’s also the sad reality of the effects of a bad childhood.