22 June 2013

Advice, Please #2

I'm not sure how "Mommy Ganda" from this post is currently doing, but I hope my advice, together with the two moms who made a comment, somewhat helped her. Anyway, last night, I received a message from another mom asking me if being a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) was my choice. Let's call her Mommy M.


I know how hard it is to choose between your career and the welfare of your children. If I were in your situation, with the the husband's blessing and all, I would choose my child in a blink of an eye. Yes, that explains why I'm now a SAHM. But we're not the same. 

Allow me to share with you my story. It took me almost a month to think things over. When I was working as a Sales Training Specialist at a 27-year-old Real Estate company, I feel good whenever I finish a whole day of training, speaking in front of 60++ random people. It made me feel even so much better after reading their evaluation. There was an appreciation for a job well done. Lo and behold, fate played a trick on me, my only daughter got sick --- she had pneumonia. That was one of the worst situations I've been into. I was enjoying my job (despite the stress it brought) and then my child needed me. After a heart-to-heart straight-to-the-point conversation with my husband, I told my office friends about it, they were sad. My boss even rejected my first resignation letter! She even cried. She didn't want me to leave yet. But my decision was final --- I want to be with my daughter. Fast forward to now, I kinda miss being in the office. But hey, I got a nice blogging table here at home. I miss dressing up for work, but hello, I get to apply lipstick once in a while when I get invited to mommy events. I miss a little bit of shopping. Oh wellll, that's something which could take a backseat. It's not like I'm gonna die if I don't shop. But a new pair of flats won't hurt. ;)

Why did I tell all these to you, Mommy M? Because even if I feel so worthy and beautiful and successful as a career-driven momma, I know I could never be as happier as I am now. There are times when I tell Rhambo that I'd just go back to work because it's really a lot easier than being at home, but of course, "tulak ng bibig, kabig ng dibdib". I really didn't mean that. I am not telling you to choose being a SAHM. I don't want you to regret that decision later on. What I can suggest is YOU PRAY FOR IT. Ask for God's discernment. Listen to what He's telling you. I understand how you badly need to get your career back and the feeling of wanting to see your children's every milestone, but admit you're not a mutant with special powers. Moms are humans, too. We have our own needs that sometimes, having children is not enough. 

To end this, let me share this quote that Mylene Dizon said for Mommy Mundo's Mom 24/7 Planner. I guess this would pretty sum up all the things I said, choose what can make you truly happy. *cyberhugs*


  1. The main reason why I decided to become a SAHM is to be with my kids. I want to do the disciplining even though I was swayed to work abroad and leave my kids with my relatives. There was a time that I tried to work but it breaks my heart leaving my son to a nanny who doesn’t take care of my son very well. As with your situation Mommy M your husband can provide so the decision lies mainly to what your heart tells you.

  2. I think if his hubby can take care of their finances, she can stay at home and better give a full care to their kids. But if she is not happy enough to stay at home, better grab the opportunity outside so that she will not regret later, after all even she is a working Mom, she can still be a superwoman if she want to...

  3. Hi Mommy M! Wow, you are truly blessed to have been offered what many, many women would love to receive - the job offer of 'SAHM-hood'. Ang daming babae ang gustong-gusto nanang maging SAHM, but they can't, mainly because of financial reasons. So consider yourself really lucky that hubby is giving you that golden opportunity - it really is precious. But trust me when I say, choosing the career path with that attractive job offer in an office will always be the more attractive choice, because it has so many tangible benefits - a career in the corporate world, a compensation package with bonuses and benefits, a steady income...

    From a person who's been in that boat about 4 years ago, here's my take - SAHM-hood is a CAREER in itself. It's a job bigger than any other out there. When I took the 'big leap' from being a corporate woman to an at-home diva, the first few months wasn't exactly easy. Naiisip ko yung possible promotions, yung bonuses, yung suweldo, yung magagawa naming madami if I was working with a steady salary - ay those made me doubt my decision for a time. I let all that go. They still tempt me every once in a while. And I do still get job offers (office-based) paminsan, and even in my dream line of work (publications/PR) pero waley Mommy M, smile lang ako and say thank you - I still chose my duster and sira-sirang pambahay shorts, because it means I get to spend 24/7 raising my daughter and strengthening the foundations of my family. And now na nagschool na din sya, I see how amazing it is na I get to be with her preparing her breakfast and baon, I'm there paglabas nya ng classroom, and I'm there to supervise homework din - dahil lahat yon, iba talaga pag nanay ang nag-aasikaso.

    Yes, pray pray pray for it Mommy M, na the Lord guides and enlightens you when you make the choice. He will speak through your heart, and promise, when He answers, ay hindi ka talaga mananalo sa debate. :)

  4. Uy marami nang votes for the SAHM, ako naman :) First of all, I agree that you are lucky that you have a choice between being a SAHM or a working mom. I myself am a WAHM simply because I need to earn for my son. So I would say that I get the best-- and sometimes the worst-- of both worlds.
    I know that you already realize how important it is for a child to have a om at home, otherwise hindi ka maguguluhan to go for the job offer. But I suppose that a part of you is longing to be productive outside the home. I would say go for it, if only to make you realize what will really make you happy. Maybe you will be able to make it work, or maybe you will eventually resign because you couldn't. Either way, it's a win for you kasi it will help you find out what you can and cannot handle, so no regrets, what-ifs, and if-onlys.

  5. I am here again, meron advertisement, yong Wilkins? it might help her to decide. pwedeng pwede yon! Naalala ko bigla sya nong napanood ko. Pinili nya maging SAHM and happy sya.

  6. That's going to be a hard decision esp. if you have been a financially independent person for the longest time and career-driven. I quit my job right just weeks after my maternity leave. Di ko kinaya ang mawalay sa baby ko that time. I would always anticipate going home to her and hugging her. I didn't want to miss all her milestones so I sacrificed my career and stayed at home. Good thing, hubby is very hardworking and he can provide well. Thanks God! :D

  7. That really is a tough decision to make. I went through that as well. I'm a WAHM now, and a hands-on mom, but I never imagined I could do it. I started working early in life, and I couldn't see myself not having a regular job. On the other hand, I was raised by my mom, who is a SAHM, and that made me want to focus on my son too. Being a WAHM has allowed me to have the best of both worlds. Luckily, my husband is very supportive of my decision, and I'm sure it's partly because he gets to reap the benefits of being pampered too. Hehe.

    To Mommy M, you are lucky that your hubby is supportive of you. Not all moms are as fortunate, believe me! It will be tough, but follow what your heart tells you. I'm sure that if you do, day one palang, you will already feel so very rewarded. :)

    xo Patty

  8. When I got pregnant I had to quit my job kasi bawal dun ang mabuntis ng hindi pa kasal. It was ok at first kaso pagtagal I got really depressed and lonely. I know I am doing something noble kasi I am taking care of my daughter pero dumating yung oras na gusto ko na rin magtrabaho. Ang hirapa maging finacially dependent sa asawa ko. Pero kapag naiisi ko nang magtrabaho ulit, naiisip ko nmn yung mga bagay namimiss out ko sa paglaki ng baby ko at yung risks sa pagiwan ko sa knya sa yaya. So I started this blog para may outlet ako at libangan. I thought there willl be a time na makakapagwork muna ako. For the meantime na hindi ko pa naman kailangan mgwork, I-enjoy ko muna ang pagaalaga sa baby ko.:)

  9. Hi, Mommy M! My advice is simple. Pray and then do what your heart tells you. Kahit naman anong maging desisyon mo, para sa future pa din yun ng anak mo, di ba? :)