Any single human being alive in this messy-happy world we live in gets into trouble one time or another. The only difference it would make is how a person reacts to it. When I was younger, I just easily cry whenever problems arise. I used to sulk in to my emotions. I skip meals and sleep all day. And then when I learned to fight back, that's just what I did - fight, fight, fight - without even thinking about it. As I get older, I feel I get a bit wiser. Since I'm now surrounded with friends and family who have armed themselves with so much positivity, I have tried my best to never jump into my roller coaster of hormonal changes and quickly decide on something then regret it after.
I have learned to hold on to my faith.
When all the tears have dried up already, it is not my husband who can make me feel better (but I wish he's here); not my daughter's smile and endless kisses (I love it so much); not my friends who make me laugh but could actually help; there is only ONE who could make all blurry things clear -GOD.
I know you've read how weird, kikay, funny, gay (yes, beki) and jologs my posts are but I haven't shared with you that I'm a Christian. I may not be a constant church-goer but this personal relationship I have with Him can never be questioned. He has been seen in my life for many times already: On my 2nd month of pregnancy, I almost lost Sophia; during the trial years of my partnership with R, it is when he met Jesus Christ as his personal Saviour; and recently, when I underwent a major medical procedure due to Ectopic (tubal) pregnancy.
Sure, our sins have been repented when He died on the Cross of Calvary for all of us, but it doesn't mean we're bound to commit more mistakes. It is okay to get into trouble for once, as long as you know how to admit your wrongdoings and learn from it. And that upon learning from it, you are aware you have caused damage to the *big guy* up there for doing so, thus making it up with him - through a prayer.
So let me share with you one of the best Bible verses I know, and utter the prayer with me:
"What, then, shall we say in response to this, if God is for us, who can be against us?" [Romans 8:31]
Heavenly Father, cover me with Your precious blood and shield me from bad things. When I lost Papa, I always run to You as my own Father. When boys broke my heart many times, I just cling into Your faithful words and I felt so complete. When I almost lost Sophia, You promised me a gift and gave me a chance to take care of her. When You let me marry R, I felt You in his loving arms. Now that I'm being tested again, I know You will move into my life as You have did before. I claim Your blessings and guidance. I can feel Your very presence as I write this. In Your most holy name, I say, AMEN.
*Photo from Unsplash