My whole body still feels sore from too much lying down. I actually can't complain. The thing is, the bed is my salvation as I can't freely move and go to anywhere that pleases me as the wound in my tummy is still fresh from the operation. I have disclosed here through an open letter to the baby I never had, that I had a miscarriage. And yes, I also mentioned that I needed to take Methergine to stop the bleeding but to also gradually wash away all that is left of the baby. Come Thursday last week, I was crying in pain. My tummy felt like there was a little monster kicking from the inside. I mustered the pain as I am a SAHM with domestic duties to fulfill, with the help of Dolfenal. I even managed to watch Taken 2 the day after (a must-see, btw) and even had a quick meeting for the blog. I thought, the pain was just a Methergine side effect.
It was a fine Saturday morning. I felt a bit relieved because my husband was home to go with me to my OB. We were scheduled to be at her clinic at 3pm. We went there earlier. And not in the clinic, but in the Emergency Room. The excruciating pain was taking my whole body to confess all my sins (not true) and give out my Facebook password to my husband (weird but true). The hospital I went to is not a 5-star hospital but it's fine and they took care of me (except for some noisy male nurses). It's what we can afford. We may have benefits to go to the Armed Forces of the Philippines Medical Center (AFPMC) but we didn't risk it because we know that we have to wait too long even if it's an emergency; sadly, the very usual thing in government offices.
In preparation for the operation, I went through a series of tests. The Trans-V ultrasound proved that I really needed to be opened up as they have seen a complex mass a size of a 1/4 kilo chicken liver. My OB was really wondering why it didn't show in my first Trans-V done in In My Womb. I just couldn't tell her that it's God's way of letting me know that I shouldn't have to go through this alone. I needed to be with my man.
The complex mass turned out to be what they call as ectopic pregnancy. Please read here to know what it is. My appendix also got infected but not because of the ectopic pregnancy. I think based on what I read online, the appendix got infected first thus having this ectopic pregnancy. Or could be two separate cases. Whatever. I forgot what my OB told me, sorry I had anesthesia. Speaking of, I instantly loved anesthesia. The feeling of being sleeping beauty then waking up in the Recovery Room without the pain but a stitch was like nirvana. Well, I had a big bold scar, but it's only given to those who can handle it - to those who are brave enough. Right?
After all the cooing, fervent prayers and my husband's Superman moves, at the back of my mind: hospital bills.
I didn't let R see that in my eyes. I know he can manage. He was Superman for a week. Literally no sleep, driving to and fro to buy my needs, process Phil Health papers and being a father to our 4-year-old cooperative little lady. We first left Sophia to my mom then to my older sister. I know in my heart that they could take care of my girl without complaints. And they sure did. When I had orders to go home, R picked up Sophia and we're one full-of-riot family again. Back at our home, our room may not be air-conditioned but I feel more comfortable. My daughter's toys are scattered everywhere but I'm happy to see her again. I actually cannot put into words how impressed I was to see our room tidy and fresh after my husband cleaned it.
To you my dear R, even if you're just outside right now grocery-shopping with Sophia, let me tell the whole world that I wouldn't be able to endure all the pain and braved away being sliced open if you were not there. You made the name Mrs. Rayala a whole new meaning.
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia and Crave
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia and Crave