01 April 2014

Four Tips for New and Aspiring Bloggers

One day, my cousin Camille of Lollies and Lipsticks told me she'll seriously blog. I can't remember how it started but we just found ourselves in the park of their neighborhood and doing a pseudo-blog mentoring. Since it was technically my first, I was random and rambling and well, real. I told her how I felt about other mommy bloggers, why I sometimes don't blog, what makes me want to go to blog events and what kept me going. If you religiously read my isms, I'm sure you'll be a bit shocked to know that some of the revelations that I disclosed during that time are hidden on my posts. You see, this may be a virtual representation of my passions, life and how I live it, but really, it's not the end all and be all of who I really am. There are things I think are better left unsaid as it can break me or other people. Like what I always say, it's just a quark of my royal universe. 


Wait. Where is this going?

I got several inquiries about how and why I started blogging and never got to answer it in a collected and organized response. I feel like I owe those people this post. So, if you're a newbie blogger or have plans to start blogging, I hope these may help you.


FIRST AND FOREMOST, BE REAL.

This blog is known as a mommy blog. A mommy blog is authored by a mom, of course. But in my heart and based on facts, this is a personal blog. It's more than momhood. It's about me. I have more stories as a woman than press releases, events aftermaths and product reviews. I don't write mommy-baby things exclusively. I write about myself, my likes, bit of my pet peeves, movies I watched, music I listen to and everything in between housewifery and mothering. For others, that multi-slashie thing may be labelled as lifestyle blogging but I beg to disagree. I can't be a lifestyle blogger like everyone else because I honestly think my life isn't something that other people would die for to have. My life is fun, I tell you! It's not just for most people, you know. My point here is: Blog your life as it is. Don't tell people to work hard if you basically have a lazy butt. Don't encourage your readers to eat quinoa when you actually don't like it in real life. Please be kind to yourself and stop pretending to be someone you are not. It'll backfire eventually.


POWER UP, ZOMBIES AHEAD.

"Blogging isn't for everybody". That's what I read from a comment Frances Sales made when talk about blog haters arose in one of the Facebook groups I'm a member of. I must agree. There came a time in my blogging journey that I just wanted to take a detour and go back to a quiet cyber life, away from the prying eyes of trolls. I made my Instagram and Twitter accounts private. I blocked some unnecessary people whom I think are mysteriously following my every move. And... it's all because of nasty comments that I have received here. It made me cry, mad and laugh. Haters gonna hate, it's true; that no matter what goodness you aim to bring to your readers, there will still be people who want to unleash that evil out of you so you can be as miserable as they are. A hardcore lesson I learned from the best person who could teach me that (my husband!) is to ignore. I know how fun and feisty it feels to retaliate by blogging about it, by sharing the news that people hate you. But let me ask you this ― what do you think of how your reader who loves to hate you will react? Victorious. Do not let losers win. Delete that comment. OK, if you can't help it, share it on your personal Facebook account in "friends" settings. But please, don't do this


IT'S NOT ABOUT THE PRICE TAG.

Although I must admit that there are well-meaning bloggers who write to get paid for it, I will not keep you away from the truth that there are bloggers who do it just for a living - to pay the bills, to earn. Sometimes, these type of bloggers reach the extent of doing the copy-paste kind of research just so they'd have content for the blog. Oftentimes, they get paid for blogging about a certain topic that has nothing to do with them. Fine, it's still a noble job (as long as they don't plagiarize); this is just me, I believe that blogging is still different from journalism and content writing. I deem it as personal. Remember, blogging means personal chronological log of thoughts. Do you get my point? I don't know how they do it but let me just say that if you wish to earn through your blog, I seriously hope that it won't be your motivation. It will come after, I tell you. After all, success doesn't only mean being wealthy, right? 

HELP, IN ANY WAY YOU CAN.

When I started this blog (once known as Bebengisms), I just see it as an outlet to the days when real and royal things overwhelm me. I blog whenever I don't have someone to talk to. I write when I feel like I can't keep these thoughts to myself. Everything was about me. I spend money on data and electricity usage, time and effort to feed these selfish desires. As my cyber palace turned two, I knew that I have touched a lot of lives. There were readers who would message, email or tweet me that they liked my recent post. There were moms who commented that my heartwarming letter for my daughter teared them up. There were random people, too who were just looking for something and found their way here. Touching lives does not necessarily mean that you will channel Mitch Albom or Paulo Coehlo and preach about how to live life and all that jazz. Just one thing and it'll be alright: Help them. Got no idea how? Let me give you three options  inform, inspire or entertain.

Inhale, exhale. This may be information overload already. I shall explain the options on a separate post, soon. I hope I didn't bore you and that you'll tell me what you think of this in the comments! Just so you know, I love replying to it that topics get better and blog ideas sometimes actually come from it. Deal? Talk to you later.

*photo courtesy of Unsplash

19 comments:

  1. The chitchat at the park, dinner at Mcdo and a lot more chika sessions we had were a big big help. But I will agree, your thoughts are more organized than your live feed. Haha. This is like 3 days mentoring summed up in one post. The chit chat is still the best one for me. Kudos to you and your new found bliss. :) Ibang iba na ang feel ng blog mo from when you started. It became more personal, I shall say. :) Happy two awesome years.

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    1. I'll see you again this summer! We need mani-pedi sesh again. ♥

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  2. Love this! I found myself nodding at every point. SO sorry to hear you've had nasty comments on your blog, but like what they say, when some people start picking on you, you know you've made it. And I just realized, we're SITStah! :)

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    1. Oh, those nasty comments were terrible but I'm glad I knew how to deal with it. Thanks to the deadma guru that is my husband. Haha! Yes, I get a lot of blog post inspiration from SITS! ♥

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  3. Such a wonderful post to all new bloggers (and even the ones that have been in the blogosphere for years like me). I agree that bloggers have to keep it real. The more real they are the more that they touch and inspire others. :)

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    1. I believe readers are more clever now, they can sense hypocrisy in articles especially when it's written in a bad light. I, as a blog reader, stopped reading this particular blog because of that!

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  4. thanks, Denise for sharing. I learned so much. I know sometime, in the near future, these things you said are things I will learn as well.

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    1. I'm happy that you've learned something from this! Thank you for reading, Nerisa. ♥

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  5. Another great post, Mommy Denise! You're such an inspiration! :)

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    1. Yay! Thanks, SJ. Hope to see you here more often. ♥

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  6. Hi Denise! These are very good points. I have been blogging for almost 10 years already. Until now, I can't exactly say I have a wide readership, or earn like other popular blogs, but that's just fine with me. I feel that whatever I put out on my blog should reflect me: my personality, preferences, what interests me, instead of just being all about monetization. Monetization is nice (and I have to say, I will eventually go that route eventually), but it should not be the be-all and end-all of our blogging purpose. I think making our blogs grow organically will be meaningful in the end.
    Congrats to you on your 2nd year anniversary. I hope you continue writing your candid thoughts and recipes!

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    1. Wow, 10 years!! Yeah, monetizing one's blog can be a gauge of its success but it shouldn't be the motivation of the blogger. I've been through that stage and it sucked, especially when you don't get what you want. Thanks for reading, Ays! I vow to post more recipes this year. ♥

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  7. I love your entry, Denise! Very encouraging! I admire you for ignoring the nasty comments and for choosing to just focus on informing, inspiring, and entertaining. :) The nasty comments are among the fears of new bloggers, but I'm sure many of them (including me!) are thankful for bloggers like you who are there to show support through entries like this. :) Happy anniversary to your blog!

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    1. It wasn't an easy ride, Carmel! It was not a pink ride, it was full of grey and black and sadness. I came to a point that I just want to stop this. I was not in a good mood for almost a week. As in! Good thing I woke up from that nightmare. Sometimes, happiness and bliss is a decision. It's tough to make but it all depends on you eh. Anyway, congrats, too on PMR! So happy for you. Love your paintings! :) Thanks for reading. ♥

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  8. Hi Mommy Denise! I''m a new blogger, and I must say I'm having a hard time attracting traffic to my blog. I'm young, just 20, and I'm the first in my circle of friends to have a baby. So, I don't have you know, direct people to whom I can say, 'uy check out my article about ganito ganyan'. And, my parents aren't supportive of this endeavor. I live with them currently and they think I have more important things to do, like chores, school, and managing the family business. The things is, I know I have more important priorities, but blogging/writing is what I am passionate about. At the moment, I'm making sure I don't compromise anything while blogging. I just get inspired by you and all the successful mommy bloggers.

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  9. I may not comment as often as I like nor visit as regularly as I can but I see to it that I do when I am able. Thank you for the insights, experiences, and tips that you share through your blog. More power to bebengisms.com and a blessed life to your family. :)

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  10. Very well said, Denise. *applause*

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  11. i'm a new blogger denise and this post will definitely help me in blogging. I created my blog because i want to document my baby's milestone at ma share ko din "ako " as a mom and wife. For me, magandang outlet ang blogging lalo na sa mga stressful days. I enjoy din blogging kasi i meet other mommy bloggers kahit nasa iba't ibang lugar. Sharing ideas and opinions. =)

    I like your blog kasi napaka natural, parang friend lang na nagku kwento. =)

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  12. Good points!
    Ako rin, I've blogging. Kaso lang sabog. Haven't tried to "clean" it or focus on a specific topic or niche. Tamad kasi. Haha.. :)

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