17 January 2014

Blissful blogging, is there such a thing?

Yes, there is. Allow me to tell you a story.

Last week, in the middle of the night, my 44th AML sent me a private message on Facebook, asking for advice. Wow. I don't think I'm in any authority to do so but it flattered me. It has something to do with blogging. She asked me what motivates me to blog, what do I do when I don't feel like blogging, something about bashers, when I think that my posts are better left in the drafts folder or when I just feel like giving up. I felt heavy. You see, I kinda felt some of her 'questions' a little over the past month. But... she made it light when she said that she feels at home when she reads this blog, that this humble palace is not, as how she puts it, "pa high profile". OK, you might say I'm making up stories. Email me for the screen cap. Hehe. So what did I tell her?

First, I'm not a high-profile social lass so there's no need to make my posts sound as if my lifestyle's about glitz, glamour and ootds. I am a kickass stay-at-home army wife and mom who never lets her husband leave home hungry and horny. Haha! And then I asked Ghezzi if I can publish our conversation here so to at least impart the blogging tips, which are basically 'answers' to her questions, with you. My answers were short, straight to the point but sweet. For this blog, I thought of adding more yadada to support it.

To be honest, none. When I started this blog, I just wanted to write. I didn't aim for anything. Then, I virtually met some blogging moms, I wanted to be like them. I joined and hosted giveaways, attended events, and hoped that one day I will be a celebrity blogger. This babe can dream! But well, the aspiration to become a somebody made me lose the real intention in the first place, to write. Don't worry, I'm back to being my old self again. And to answer her question, I just said I love telling stories! Perhaps, my being "kulang sa pansin" makes me an effective cyber storyteller. Don't you think?

LAZINESS STRIKES (cue in Bruno Mars' Lazy Song)
When this happens, I just don't force myself. Believe me, it would definitely sound odd (when your words are read aloud). When I did this before, I was in front of my computer for almost an hour with two sentences and a fragment. So I never tried to force myself when I feel lazy. Well, if it has something to do with beating a deadline for a paid project, uhm... I think you got to raise your lovely ass from the seat. Stretch, sip coffee and write! So my simple unspoken rule for myself: don't go in to something you don't know how to get out of. Did it make sense? Anyway —

To hell with people hiding behind anonymous usernames! I used to join these trolls in their games. I used to answer back. I used to get affected. I allowed them to manipulate my emotions. I allowed them to bully me. I allowed them to enter my cyber kingdom. What exactly happened to me and to them? I was miserable and they were happy. It's the bashers' happiness if we let them rule our blogging life. So my advice — IGNORE. It's for the best.

I never run out of ideas, bragging aside. I have a truck full of stories caged in my brain; brain farts, yes. One idea will be linked to another and another and another that it got to be a thousand... and then, bomb! No more ideas at all. Hahaha! Really, that happened to me. What I realized was (again, ideas) I have to focus on one idea at a time. Don't be too excited to share so you won't over-share. Like thesis writing (sorry about this, I was our group's writer/editor then), start with a general thought (objective) then followed with specific thoughts (objectives). Specific thoughts must be correlated to each other and to the general thought. It's hard to follow this, especially if you have a personal blog like mine. But it won't hurt to do task-y (not a real word, I believe haha) things like this. Give it a try and you will come up with better posts. Oh, and one more thing, give yourself a deadline. I'm sure "Ms. Cramming Martin" will give you ideas.

I felt this, almost at the end. I was on the verge of losing Bebengisms because I thought this is going nowhere. I did not want to attend any blogger events because commuting isn't fun. I did not care about new products that come out in the market because I'm happy with the products I'm currently using. I did not want to share my life with strangers anymore because I thought it's weird that you know more about my daughter's shenanigans than what my family and friends know. However, I'm still here, the gabfest guru that I am. Here's the deal, you don't break up with somebody (or something) you love with no reasons at all. Unless you're Billy Crawford. ;)

There you are, the five things that paved way for me to blog blissfully. Speaking of bliss, I'm so happy for my dear friend Martine, who finally launched her new cyber baby, Make it Blissful. It's basically the former Dainty Mom, but with bigger and bolder intentions to help us, in her words, aspire to live meaningfully. One of her ways to do just that is through her workshops. She'll be having one on February 1st. For more information and to register, click here

So, do you have more questions for me — 
about blogging or life, in particular? 
Let's talk about that! Email me at 

*photos courtesy of Martine de Luna, Make it Blissful


  1. Thanks for the wonderful blogging tips Ms. Denise! I can relate with your tip on motivation, I also love telling stories but only thru writing, not in person. hehe. But the hassle thing for me is selecting which photos to attach on the story. E ang dami kong photos hirap mamili, tapos kelangan pang lagyan ng watermark, tapos kelangan mong isipin how do you start the story off and weave the photos altogether to make sense and be useful/catchy to the readers. :)

    Hmm.. I really wanted to attend these self-help/self-improvement workshops kaso ang mahal lang chaka hirap iwan si baby. But maybe I'll try it one day if I'm ready to attend.


    1. Hey, Sally! Photos' watermark: sometimes, you don't need to put one naman, especially if it's hassle. Selecting photos: choose those which speak to you the most. Uhm, yung bagay sa article? You can get inspiration from other awesome bloggers on how they do it. In starting off the story: do as you please, it's your blog! You're not writing for the newspaper naman that it has to start in a certain way. :)

      Attend ka na ng workshop ni Martine! I understand, it can be something out of the budget pero worth it naman eh. Marami kang matutunan. :)

    2. Ok will do, sana may discount or magka promo siya, hehe thanks :)

  2. very helpful yung mga tips na ito denise tulad sa mga bagong blogger like me. I wanted din sana to attend mga activities for moms kaso hirap gawin pag maliit pa ang baby.

    Me naman, i am not a good writer, tama ka write kapag gusto mo. Hirap naman sumulat sa blog ng walang maisip or napipilitan lang diba? I'm enjoying blogging din kasi nakakausap din ibang mommies and ask for opinions about baby stuff.