02 September 2016

32 Things / 12

32 Things is a series of fun facts about me; 
to celebrate my 32 years of living, loving and laughing. 


I WAS BULLIED IN HIGHSCHOOL

This is a part of my past that made a big impact to who and what I am today. 

I was in 2nd year, the same year when R and I were classmates, when it happened. It was a Saturday when our class had to meet in school for a project. After the meeting, some girls decided to go to the nearest mall to while away. I tagged along; I thought the girls and I were friends. The Monday after, I saw these girls talking to our guy classmates. They were looking my way. So I asked my guy seatmate about it. He said they were talking about me. I almost choked when I swallowed a lump in my throat that began to ball up. I'm a crybaby now that I'm 32 so imagine a 14-year-old me. 

The day went by so slowly.  I dreaded going to school. I resorted to writing at the back of my notebooks to try to ease the pain. I wrote sad poems. My young world was crushing before my eyes. The girls whom I thought were my friends started ignoring me. They also kept on whispering to each other and looking my way. I even heard one girl said, "ni hindi nga ako makaka-survive na 100 pesos lang ang pera eh." So I figured it has something to do with the money I had that weekend. I only had enough for my fare. No extra for food or whatever. One of the girls promised to treat me to lunch that I was so gullible to believe that it was a friendly gesture. I didn't know they would make an issue out of it.

Come lunch time, I heard some boys (R's friends, by the way) singing a song directly about me. Worse, one of them even came to where I was and sang it in my ears. That was it. I ran out of the room and found a corner to cry. 

When I got home, I wanted to tell my mama about it but she was not there. I wanted to tell my sisters about it but they were both busy. I kept it to myself until it became their daily habit. It went for months until the day I exploded and cried and my asthma attacked. I was rushed to the clinic in a stretcher.

My mama and sister (who was also studying at the same school) knew about the cause of my asthma attack. Some of the girls apologized. Then I stopped hanging out with them. Good thing the school year was about to end then and I felt so glad to find out that no one from the bullying girls was my classmate. Well, there were issues in my 3rd and 4th years but I managed to handle it well because of my best friend. She was the only person who understood me. Though there were days that we argued and she confessed to our other friend that she only hung out with me 'cause she pitied me, she was the only reason I loved my high school life. 

I felt so bad then but now weirded out that I was bullied for having no money when all of us were actually studying in a public school; that the girls and boys who bullied me were not even rich to begin with. Oh well, that's what puberty has given them. 

With all these, I realized I'm still blessed that it wasn't me who bullied others. I know in that part, I made my mama proud. So now that I'm a mom myself, I hope and pray that my daughter will always keep in mind that mean girls are the ugliest girls. Do you agree?

Photo courtesy of Unplash

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