Tatay came home before my birthday so we could be with you 9 months after. We really wanted to be with you. We prayed and wished for you. Even Ate Sophia was practicing how to be a big sister. She sometimes think of you as her toy dinosaur, Dino. Or her imaginary pet animal, Rekeli. My little angel, Tatay could have been the happiest man if we could be with you. But we lost you.
I am very sorry. I didn't know I already had you.
I thought it was my monthly period. 11 days of bleeding (and counting), I was not expecting that it was you. I went to Dr. Domingo, my OB-GYN earlier and she advised me to have Trans-V ultrasound. We should thank Tito Aboy, he's my brother that you should have met if only you were completely formed to become my 2nd bundle of joy. He's kind of weird but he has a heart of gold. I didn't bring enough money for the ultrasound but Tito Aboy provided. And to Mama Amor for looking after feverish and coughing Ate Sophia.
Dr. Capinpin, the Sonologist of In My Womb in SM Marikina was really good. She was actually the resident Sonologist in St. Victoria Hospital who confirmed your sister's gender. She told me she didn't see any complex mass and there could be no way that you were an ectopic pregnancy. She showed me the fluid that was left of you and it made my heart crushed. But she didn't tell me the results yet. My gut feeling was right. You will no longer be with Nanay.
My beloved baby blood, I want you to know that I can endure the excruciating and fun pain of having you inside me for 9 months. But Dr. Capinpin said that if ever you have been saved at an earlier stage, it is still going to be a complicated journey for the two of us. Good thing Nanay is safe, because your Ate Sophia needs me. And I know Tatay will be sad to see me sick. Our readers will miss me, too. Thank you for still being a good baby.
Sigh. I feel bad about losing you. However, I know we will meet soon. Like what my friends and fellow moms said, you will come in God's time. But please negotiate with the Big Guy up there for you to come back real soon, okay? Nanay will do her best to be in her healthiest form so you would enjoy your 9-month amniotic fluid swim inside my tummy. For now, let the prescribed Methergine completely send you home to Heaven.
I still haven't told Tatay about you. He is still busy working somewhere high. Be their angel, baby.
I have already loved you the day we were planning for you,