21 April 2021

Since When Having Children Become a Competition?

Note: This was written after my pregnancy and gender announcement of the third baby. 

When my eldest was four years old, almost everyone, even strangers, said we should have another child. “Pwede ng sundan yan”, they said it as if they will help raise our family financially. I didn’t battle with them, not even in words, but my uterus did; I had an ectopic pregnancy. An internal organ in my reproductive system had to be removed as if it was my body’s way of telling the naysayers that it had enough of their meddling. Having another child wasn’t meant to be... yet.

So blessed to be a girl mama of these precious ones. 

Few years later, my second pregnancy surprised and shocked many including us, my husband and I. We expected a solo child family till our senior years. Truly, God has miraculous ways to make us understand that no men can dictate our future—not even your chismosang kapitbahay. But of course, people who are bound to have imperfections cannot be controlled. They attacked the preggy me again with “sana boy na yan para perfect na, para complete na”. I was furious.

My second girl, a rainbow baby, is so beautiful that I don’t know if I even deserve her. She was and still is more than enough. That comment, especially when said to a woman who had a hard time getting pregnant, was totally dumb. Does that mean if we’ll get another girl, which we did, we are not perfect and complete? I cannot absolutely even.

But, it didn’t hurt me. That time whenever someone said that piece of stool (I just can’t write the more appropriate word for that line along with God, so let’s use a medical term instead, shall we hehe) to me, my debater mode was on full-time. With pregnancy glow and spaghetti cravings, I was as honest as can be.

“My husband isn’t even asking for a boy.” *rolls eyes*

Couldn't ask for more if you'd ask me. ♡

It’s true, even became truer with this third baby I’m currently baking. The husband doesn’t feel like having a boy will complete his manhood. He was actually upset when someone told us “para may magtuloy sana ng apelyido ninyo”. He sarcastically reminded the person that we have an R in our surname, we don't have a street in Makati named after us for chrissake lol. He also joked he was thankful we’ll have another girl the third time because he doesn’t need to wholly change to be the man he wants his supposed son to be. I smacked him though and said he is still the standard of his girls for the men they would choose in the future. He sheepishly agreed.

You see, having both genders—a boy and a girl—as your children doesn’t make a family perfect and complete. It’s God’s presence in the center of it that makes it as such.

Boy mamas, girl mamas, can I hear you say “yeah”?

Let us all stop the “quota ka na”, “ay girl na naman”, “bakit hindi niyo pa sundan” and “hindi pa ba kayo magpapa-ligate” narratives. Unless the parents are asking you to fund their children’s schooling, you don’t have the right to comment on how they want to raise their family.

Any comment against this post deserves a high-five by this foot on your face lol!

A real kween mind their own ovaries. Ktnxbye. 


  1. totoo naman. nakakainit ng ulo pag sinasabi sakin when ko daw susundan yung son ko. minsan dedma ako, minsan sinasagot ko hahaha!

  2. This is so relatable. My son is 4 now and everyone keeps on saying those cliche which is irritating and makes me upset most times:( And yes to mind your own ovaries. Please!

  3. We also feel that we don't need a girl and yet people keep telling us our family "will be complete" if we have a girl. Bakit sila ba mag aalaga ng baby at magpapaaral dito? haha.