05 October 2016

I Am Raising a Girl Who Practices Two Religions

I grew up in a Born Again Christian family. My mama said that I was two years old when she and our papa started attending a Born Again Christian church in Quezon City. Inevitably, in most Christian families, we went to church together every Sunday. It was where I first learned how to dance. I also memorized some parts of the Holy Bible because of Sunday School. I love being a Christian and I am proud to be one. 

So when I posted this last night, I got a few private messages about it. 

Why does it sound so easy for you? Aren't you afraid she'll choose to be a Catholic in the future? How come a Born Again Christian mom found it adorable when her daughter looked for a purple rosary? 


I'd like to make it simple but please allow me to share with you this story.

When R and I decided to transfer Sophia to a different school, we only had two options: School 1 (S1) and School 2 (S2). Both are exclusive, Catholic schools. However, S1 is just three blocks away from where we live while S2 is almost an hour drive. S1 has less expensive tuition than S2, like 30k less. We originally chose S1 but God led us to S2. 

You see, when I talked several times to S1's principal over the phone, though she really wanted to accommodate my girl, she was worried that Sophia might get confused for practicing two religions as S1 is purely Catholic. R and I took that as a sign and went to S2. The day we inquired about their religion practices was the day we decided she'll be going to that school. 

As Born Again Christian parents of a Born Again Christian student in S2, we were asked to sign an agreement that despite her religion, Sophia must pray how all of them pray. She must attend masses, learn about the saints and sisters and do what the other girls do. At first, it was one of my many concerns. I was scared that it might change her views and that we might disagree on that topic in the future. I used to ask how her teachers treat her. I used to ask if they made her do the sign of the cross. I used to ask the number of prayers in a day that they have to memorize. Then one day, I stopped asking. I prayed for it instead.

God, perhaps amused with how anxious I was, spoke to me immediately. I realized that religion isn't really what saves people from the seven deadly sins. It is not religion that makes us better human beings. It is not religion that keeps the world go round. Yes, religion is where you find the core of your faith, it is where you meet people with same belief as yours, it is where you grow as a God-fearing person but it can never, ever save you from hell. Love and kindness do.

That's what I like about how Sophia is now. She has grown into a gentler, more compassionate little lady. She is not perfect, of course! But to be honest, practicing two religions made her a better kid. For me, it actually widen her horizon.

After all, in my opinion, parents should not impose their religion to their kids. It is her right to choose wherever she will be completely happy in. Like what I told one of the people who messaged me about this, "We have democracy here at home. If I drink Coke, I'll let her drink Coke. I don't want her to smoke [cigarettes] when she's old enough to do it so I stopped as well. Ganun lang. We don't impose things on her. We strive hard to be good examples instead." 

I would love to know your thoughts about this, moms! Let's talk.

13 comments:

  1. This is something Ive been thinking about for awhile too. Its doesnt involve my children though. It has something to do with politics. Catholic churces are vocal with their disagreement with our current President and each week Im finding it hard to listen to the sermon. Yes, I voted for Du30, and no, I didnt regret it. But recent happenings have made me question my beliefs. I think this is God's way of answering my questions. By letting me stumble upon your post. So for that, I thank you for giving me some peace of mind.

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    1. Oh, I didn't know they always include him in their sermons. Well, I'm sure you are already a discerning adult, you know what to do. You just need a little push... Like this blog post. Glad this gave you something to ponder on. God bless!

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  2. I grew up as a Born Again Christian myself but my relatives on my mother side are Anglican while my Dad's side are Catholic. I attended a Baptist school in Kinder then an Episcopalian school from Grades 1-4 before transferring to a public school for Grade 5-6 which majority of the population are Catholics. :) During Christmas eve, it has been some sort of a tradition of my Mom's side to attend mass in the nearby Anglican church. I would not say that I got confused, rather, I have raised a lot of questions regarding the differences of the religions. :)

    Even if I have been a non-practicing Christian for the longest time, the foundation of my faith that has been instilled in me in my growing up years remains the same. As what you've said, the experience gave me a wider perspective on where people are coming from in terms of their faith and I have come to respect that.

    So now that I have a son, I am now back to church to, hopefully, instill the foundation of his faith, just as how my parents did with us. And when he grows older and decides to practice a different religion, then so be it. :)

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    1. We tag our daughter along with us to Sunday service and she loves it so much! She loves that she gets to interact with other kids. We love that we have peaceful worship time since she's not with us, haha. Seriously, good luck to raising your boy to be the God-fearing man that you hope him to be. God bless!

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  3. I definitely agree. Me and my husband have different religion too. I a Catholic and he a Protestant, a convert (previously a Catholic). It doesn't bother us if I attend mass in Catholic mass and vice versa. We attend both but more on his side. My daughter attends a Catholic school. Before we enrolled her, I spoke to my husband about it and he sees no problem about it.

    This belief made me respect all religions: wherever you find God, go by it. Religion doesn't save you but it is your faith that redeems you. If you are being righteous about whatever sect you are in and doesn't follow God's basic commandments, you're religion fails you.

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    1. It makes me sad when there are people who tell me that this is wrong just because it hurts their religious ego. I'm glad na mas marami pa rin kayo who understand and agree that it's not all about the religion. :)

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  4. I love this post. I grew up in a family where parents have different religion. We were baptised Catholic, also had communion and kumpil in Catholic Church but I didn't feel the connection to that religion. My dad became Born Again Christian when I was a toddler. We attended church and I loved Sunday School. It's where bible stories made an impact on me. I remember attending nursery in our church too. Then things fizzled out, father got busy and we stopped attending that church so we were back to practicing Catholic. I am not religious but when I see my kid praying on her own because she learnt it in a Catholic school, it warms my heart. However, I do wish we could go back to attending church again; for me and my husband (who is a solid Catholic by the way), and have my child attend Sunday school. I think it needs to be discussed as a family and find a middle ground.

    Regardless of what we decide, whether it be Catholic or Christian church, we aim to be just good human beings who have compassion and love, not just for our family and friends, but for everyone.

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    1. Please attend church service again! Try a CCF church near you. :)

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  5. Hi Denise! I am responding as you said you would love to hear other moms' thoughts, too. So mine would be - it is not my place to tell you how you should or should not parent your child, so I will respect those boundaries.

    However, just for clarification, I hope that when you say love and kindness save us, you are referring the the love and kindness of God towards us. :)

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    1. Yes, that's what I meant, of course. That we all should embody the love and kindness that God made us feel. We all won't be in His kingdom someday just because of our religion. We will be based on how we glorified God. :)

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  6. not to be argumentative (although that might seem inevitable considering the topic) but, by definition catholicsm and protestantism arent different "religions" as both are under christianity's umbrella and in the most fundamental level ascribe to the same core beliefs. don't you think it would be more beneficial for your child if you encourage her to treat both ideas as really just different sides of a blank coin rather than pointing out how dissimilar they are? the doctrine may be a bit different but the message and messenger are the same. its up to you guys as parents to guide her and trach her how to only look at christ (hebrews 12:2) rather than to see differences

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    1. This is basically the core of this post, actually. Different doctrines, different ways - so it's basically not the same. But yes, our main focus in raising her to be the woman that she is destined to be is to put God in the center of her life.

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  7. I agree that it is really up to the child to choose what religion to practice in the end.I think rather than being confused, your child would see and perhaps appreciate the differences and similarities in the two religions she practices. What matters most is her strong faith in God and her kindness towards others.You're also teaching her to be open-minded and independent. Madz De Leon

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