02 July 2012

July 2nd is Mother's Day

Whenever I have a hard time making my little girl follow my instructions, I think of my mother.

Lola L's Pride: M, N, Queen B and A.
See, we were four growing children when she was widowed at the age of 37. She was a house wife. I grew up in a very clean and orderly house. I witnessed how she can turn my younger brother's muddy shirt from too much rough play into an almost-brand-new-looking top. Her kitchen was the busiest. The aroma of her famous dishes temptingly surrounded our cozy apartment in Kamias. My father's long-sleeved collared shirts were ironed neatly --- sometimes too stiffed because of almirol. Perfectly domesticated, I must say.

I think Mama doesn't know how to pose appropriately. :p
As the third kid and youngest girl, I was a KAREN --- kaladkarin. She used to tag me along to her weekly wet market trips in Nepa Q-Mart in Quezon City. She haggled, yes and can be very ruthless to vendors who refused to give her discounts. Now that I am a mother myself and who handles the family money, I realized the intention on as why she had to do that then.

New Year 2007. Mama watching her crazy kids.
She is a fighter. Yes, seriously and literally. I remembered one time we all rode a rusty orange ordinary bus, my second sister, who was the most unsteady and weakling among us, went down the bus last and almost stumbled when the driver suddenly took off. Oh, I could just imagine right now how Mama shouted at the top of her voice to the bus conductor and driver! She even kicked the side of the poor dirty bus, so much that some rusts fell from it. I was so embarrassed. Really, we were in EDSA, come on! What the heck, I have a little precious princess snoring just a few meters away, I can do so much better than that if anyone will try to harm her. Well, I might do it with a bit of grace, but still shouting perhaps. It's hereditary.

Summer Swim '08: N with Raf and Gab, Preggy Queen B, M with Rovic and Richmond, and Lola L
Lola L with her youngest "child", the first-born apo, Adrian. 
She can be very, very strict. Okay, this is one of my most favorite childhood stories! I think it was just a few months after my father died. So basically, she was mourning and she needs space. She went to the wet market alone. Ahh --- freedom, at last! While she was away, I noticed my little brother escaped from my two big sisters' guarding eyes. So I did, too! But hey, I saw my crush there playing with my colds-prone brother. My eyes twinkled with delight. I was in 3rd grade. I hurried back to the house and changed my sweaty sando and shorts combo to my Sunday's best dress --- frilly, sparkly and yellow. I came to where they were hanging out and saw that they were catching dragonflies. Mmm, I thought I was really good at that, steady hands and all. My goal was to make my crush notice my yellow sparkly dress but much to my dismay, he complimented how great I was in catching dragonflies. Dingbat. Disappointed, I looked away and as if the world stopped spinning, I saw my mama carrying all her wet market goods with both hands going towards my way. Even if she was still like six houses far, I can see her eyebrows met. I heard my own heart pounding. I was right, I'll be sentenced. I won't tell you what happened. Let's say, that was the day I stopped catching dragonflies in a dress. ;)

With the smart and pretty boy, Richmond. | 2008
Much like any other good daughter, I idolize my mom. I think what I only wished as a kid then was to become a mother. Maybe because I saw how she took care of us, struggling but never complaining. She did everything to make all ends meet. At a young age, I knew that we were living a tough life. We were four, all studying in a private school and all very hungry all the time. Because I can't financially help her yet, the best thing I did was to not complain and went to a state university after high school. Even if she was trying to tell me to go to an exclusive school-for-girls college, I didn't push my luck. I know it could have been a difficult time if I did. I just proved to her that it would not depend on the school I went to, but to my own performance as a student. You know, there are people who went to a so-so private school but they are, to be brutally honest, such lame individuals. Satisfied with mediocrity. I can't be like that. I pursue superiority 'cause I know I can. That's what I inherited from my parents, especially from Mama --- passion.

With the  amiable Gabriel Ian | 2008
With the youngest boy in her grandkids, Rafael Sean
She was a passionate bookworm. We have tons of book. From heavy encyclopedia to a one-sitting-read Gilda Olvidado pocketbook. She used to tell us that she was a topnotch student during her time, that it challenged me to be as good as her. Bragging aside, I was a consistent first honor student when I was in gradeschool. Things changed badly when I laid my eyes on a cute boy during my 2nd year in highschool, who, after several years became my husband. No, he wasn't really the reason, but I just really didn't do well in HS. So I made sure to make a name once I get into college. I think I did a bit of awesome-ness. I smoked pot but got into dean's list twice. Those were the times Mama gave her trust in me that she didn't ask what time I will go home. So I didn't break it. I finished college and later on worked in a broadcasting company for two straight years. I might have given her a bit of a heartache when I got pregnant out of wedlock. But I know she immediately had forgiven me especially when she knew she'll be having her first granddaughter. She took care of me when I was pregnant and awaited outside the Delivery Room when I was giving birth.

LB, Lola L and two other amigas. 
I know I wasn't a perfect daughter. I couldn't give her expensive gifts. I couldn't treat her to a salon. I couldn't dine with her in a fancy restaurant. I know I love her and for me, I think that's enough. Enough that when she needs someone to talk to, I'm just a text away to listen virtually. Enough that the ways I run the house were her ways. Enough that her laing is now my laing. Enough that I wish when I get old, my daughter will care for me as much as I care for my mom.
I wouldn't work hard to be a good mother if she was not. ♥

P.S. I can't find a picture of her with my other nephew, Rovic. :(


  1. Aaaw, that was so sweet. ^_^

  2. nice blog! :-) I hope we can follow each other's blog :-) I'd be glad :-)

    1. Hi Charlene! Thank you. Will visit your blog and follow, too. :)

  3. :) happiness - makes me want to see mom tom hehe..

    1. Definitely, Donna! :)
      When I became a mom myself, that's the time I appreciate her more.
      And not just her nagging. Haha!

  4. I hope I can follow the footsteps of your mother....(actually Iam also a big fan of Olvidado Pocketbooks way back in high school, Gilda Olvidado, one of my favorite authors!) Your mother is a very good example of a tough woman who never gives up even in the strongest storms and her way of raising the four of you is really amazing. It's really hard to take care of the children if you're the only one who's going to handle everything,I knew it because I had been in that situation, me and my mommy together-forever. :-) That's why I salute your mom because she's a brave one, and not only that, being able to manage your home very well and how she protects her children are a Plus Points! You are very lucky to have her in your life, you have a good friend and a strong support that you can lean on. I am sure that you will emulate your mom's great examples,as I will too, because I was touched by your family's story. I am now a mother of one, and I appreciate more all the sacrifices of my mom. Be thankful to your Mama.And now as she celebrates her birthday, I am wishing her the best that life can offer and may God showers her with lots of blessings and a long life...She deserves to be happy...Cheers to a great Mom! :-)

  5. Wow finally I got to see your siblings too & ur Mom, you all looks great just like your Mom halos hawig kayo ni Mom nyo lahat pero in fairness pinaka-maganda ang DENISE (wag sana mabasa nila ate mo baka magalit sa akin sorry po) kay ate at ditse (yun ba tawag sa 2nd sister?)kita naman from the pictures how happy si Lola with all her apo pogi at beautiful princess LB..super cute yung picture nila maglola with 3 apo sitting w/ 2 teddy bears of LB (na imagine ko bakit ganun ngiti ni lola sa picture)si LB lang pala ang only girl na apo talaga palang princess...HBD po Lola wish you more happiness, good health & stay looking young and beautiful.. :)

  6. Kapag NANAY kana, you'll see yourself in your kid/s..and see your mom in you..You'll get to answer all the WHYs u had before.Sigh.You'll see yourself smiling And realize that Mother knows best.Happy bday to Lola L.Godbless^^

  7. Happy birthday, Mommy Abelynda! This is such a sweet post & I think she really did an excellent job raising the four of you, her kids. I know how hard it is to raise and support a brood of four. I saw it happening with my aunts. They seem to be okay in front of their kids, but physically and emotionally, they're struggling. I am so amazed with moms like Mommy L...how they make ends meet, send their kids to school and work hard just so their kids will have food on their plate. Bbecause of all of this, I salute you Mommy Abelynda. And thank you also for bringing Nanay Bebeng to this world. Happy birthday once again. May God bless you with more birthdays and an excellent health. :)

  8. Your mama is happier when she's with you all, her precious gems. She loves to see you all happy and together. But she is in her happiest when she's with her grandson/s and grand daughter/s. It's her source of joy today that her kids are now grown up. Happy birthday to your mama :)

  9. i think raising 4 kids alone is a very tough job and i salute Mommy Abelynda,she had raise beautiful kids and you may not give her the best gift but i think seeing you raise your little bebeng,makes her more blessed and proud...

  10. your mother is defensive mom,gagawin lahat huwag lang masaktan anak niya.Loving mom and masinop sa bahay..I also idolized her,because my mom is different from her.My mom is so shy,just simple and palagi lang sa bahay,luto,laba,taking care her sibling..I love you mommy and happy bday too!!

  11. Yaay.... July 2 is my day too.... and being a mother of 5 year old twin i wish i can be as strong as your mother.

  12. When I read your post, I confirmed a theory that I formulated when I became a mom - Women are born 'ordinary', but when they become moms, they transform into superhumans. I mean, your mom is a classic example - she shunned the path of 'career woman' and opted to be a housewife for her kids. It's a choice that's not very easy to make, and I bet especially for someone like your mom whom you said was always at the top of her class. I'm sure her parents had expectations, people around her had expectations, and she most likely had a lot of expectations too as to what career path she would take. But, for her, family came first - and will always be first. And she had to go through losing a husband and a partner in raising her brood of 4 - that must have taken superhuman strength to survive. Ito na nga lang iisang anak ko kaloka-loka na even with hubby, I cannot imagine how it would be like if I was alone and had 4 kids. Tama ka, she is truly a woman of passion and dedication - something which I'm sure, all of her kids display too. :) It's hard to not share the personality, when you have been raised by a woman overflowing with it - so if LB tends to be expressive, loving, strong, and as you say a 'firework' - well, she probably takes after you and Lola. :)

    Oh and this sis Denise: "Enough that the ways I run the house were her ways. Enough that her laing is now my laing. Enough that I wish when I get old, my daughter will care for me as much as I care for my mom."...I'm sure when she reads that, she'll feel like the most accomplished woman in the planet - knowing her daughter admires her and believes in her so much, that she raises her own kid the same way. Biggest praise a mother could receive I would say. :)

    Happy Birthday to your wonderful mother, enjoy your early 30's! *wink wink. :) Kudos to her for being a true-to-life superhero!

  13. i almost cried while reading this. I can relate to your story. my mom is hardworking, super matiisin. she always do her best just to give everything we need. I admire your mom and you too. We are 5 children in the family. I still have my tatay but sometimes wla xang work and they cant afford to send us all to school so my mom help my father in financial matters while doing her duty as our nanay at home. im quoting this from you blog "know I wasn't a perfect daughter. I couldn't give her expensive gifts. I couldn't treat her to a salon. I couldn't dine with her in a fancy restaurant. I know I love her and for me, I think that's enough. Enough that when she needs someone to talk to, I'm just a text away to listen virtually. Enough that the ways I run the house were her ways. Enough that her laing is now my laing. Enough that I wish when I get old, my daughter will care for me as much as I care for my mom." as Im feeling the same way towards my mother. it really touches my soul my tears starting to fall now :'( belated happy mother's day to both of you. I wish you good health and may God bless you and your family! May you have many years to spend with your mom and so do I :)