04 September 2019

35 today

Well, well, well. What do we have here?

But first, lemme take a selfie.

When I was 10 years old, I looked at people my age now like they're so old. Like when they don't have their own house, don't drive their own car and have zero career, I thought that they are failures. The younger me even swore to never wash my own laundry! I said I'd have maids to do the house chores. I said I'd be wearing stilettos to work. I said my future children would have their own bedrooms at my house with a beautiful garden. Such dreams I had as a child. God bless every kid who dreams like I did. 'Cause guess what? None of those came true.

You see, as much as I refuse to wash at least one of the five basketfuls of laundry because it's my birthday week, I'd still have to do it anyway. How can I not if my kids would have nothing to wear in the coming days? Speaking of kids, I have kids just like I dreamed about before! Hurray! But again, contrary to what I wished to happen, they don't have their own rooms. We're sharing beds (co-sleeping as parenting experts call it), hearing each other's snores and smelling each other's farts since they were born. Not complaining, I love my kids till the edge of the Earth. But when my husband and I want to have sex, it just frustrates me that any moment, my pre-teen might wake up and see her parents in action. Ghastly.

So are you wondering why we only have one bedroom? We're living in my husband's parental house. It's a simple 80s house that my in-laws built from their hard-earned money. This is where my husband grew up! It no longer looks like how it was before but its corners and crevices are filled with his childhood stories that no big and brand new house can ever compete with. That's what I always think about whenever I feel a pang of jealousy over the people I follow on social media.

Here's something to gossip about me (lol) — I feel like it was my fault. We could have our own house, my own car, a career and maids to do our laundry had I not quit work. It was seven years ago when I chose to stay at home and be my daughter's primary caregiver. I have explained in previous posts why but for the sake of my new readers, Sophia had pneumonia. God knows how I wasn't able to do my job well whenever I'd get a call from her nanny saying how difficult breathing was for my only child then. I felt like it was so unfair for the both of us. I mean, I had to let her suffer because I needed to go to work and earn a measly amount of money that went mostly to her medicines. A part of me wanted to continue working because again, my childhood dreams were taunting me. But mostly, I knew my decision was right.

Please don't get me wrong, I sounded like we're living a pitiful life of someone in the fringes of society. We're good. In fact, my husband earns enough to send our eldest to an exclusive school for girls. His noble job in the military puts warm, delicious meals on the table. We get material treats from time to time. Oh, we can also afford to pay an electric bill for an airconditioning unit that we don't turn off as long as our boss baby is asleep. Really, thank God for our comfortable life.

Sure, none of my childhood dreams came true but we're cool. You see, I may be married to the most annoying military officer ever (minsan na nga lang sa house, nakakaasar pa hahaha) but at least he's a faithful husband, a good provider and my number one blog supporter. We may not have our own house (for now), I don't wear stilettos to work and there are no maids who will do the laundry for us but we're good. We don't pay rent, we have my mother-in-law to look after our baby Sammybear when I have blog events to attend to. Yes, blog events may not ask me to wear stilettos but I sure dress-up for the occasion or whatever. You girls get what I'm saying here.


To dream as a child is beautiful. To have ambitions is a gift. But if none of your dreams and ambitions happen, it's saddening, yes but always think that it's God's plans that prevailed.

Happy 35 to me. ♥

6 comments:

  1. Grabe Ms.D naiyak ako ng very light dito. Being a mother means sacrificing a lot of things talaga but at the end of the day ots all worth it po diba. And thank you for sharing this. Sobrang natouch ako and nafeel ko kayo. Hehhe. Anyway wishing you a great 35th birthday. BTW ou loooook way youngeeer than your age. Mga 30 ganun. Hehehe. God bless you and your family po😍

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  2. Happy birthday Ms. D!
    Childhood dreams. Libre mangarap pero si Lord ang bahala! Enjoy po at God Bless your family.

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  3. Happy Birthday Ms.D,enjoy your day!God bless you.

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  4. And having that blessings at the age of 35 is really a blessing. Happy birthday Ms.D! We are somehow in the same boat ☺

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  5. Happy Bday Ms D! ❤️ Relate din ako dito, pero yes we are still blessed. I have plenty of dreams too when i was a child but some of them were not achieved . Pero the biggest dream i had talaga is to have a happy fam, more kids and a happy home and I am thankful to God for giving me such despite the fact that financial stability is what we still pursue now. I still look back din na perhaps i can save more, be more and give more ( lakas maka hello , love gbye �� ) had i not quit work. That feeling too na we have to cuddle and you know HHAHA they might be awake anytime while in the middle of it LOL.
    You are still lucky Ms D kasi there's your Mom in-law who's incharge of taking care of the kids whenever you have events to attend too, kasi ako i need to tag along my kids and if di di pwde sila isama for some reasons, we will leave them sa house nila sis in law ( thankful kasi maasahan sila ) . Dressing up too if may need puntahan , okay na ako doon kahit bihira lang nakakalabas ❤️ Thanks for sharing these thoughts na relatable Ms D �� You are so blessed and happy and God will bless you more for having an annoying hehee pero responsible husband �� Will be turning 32 narin pala this Oct HAHA time flies 🙈

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  6. Nku reho tyo Ms D nag resigned ako s work kc s pgod nppbyaan n nmin mga bata. Pati s school bumaba mga grades nila. Kung d ako ngresign cguro may srili n kming bahay. S ngyon nahabol ko pa mga bata muling bmlik ang confidence nila s pag aaral. Naaasikaso ko na rin ang bahay. Khit tricycle driver lng asawa ko d naman nya kmi nppabyaan s pagkain at maski ppno nkkalabas nmn kmi pra mmsyal mski every 2 months bgo mngyari. Importante mas may bonding n kmi ngyon s mga bata. Tiis lng tlga mgkkron rin kmi ng sariling bahay.

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