Crybaby + Courage

I just had a terrible night (as of this writing, that night was like 5 hours earlier). 

But before the terrible night happened, LB and I went to SM Marikina to meet my  friend who came home from British Columbia for some vacay. C gave LB Hello Kitty plate, bowl, spoon & fork and a large Ziploc of assorted chocolates and candies. We had some pizza and pasta, and a lot of catching up. LB had pink macarons. My eyes welled with tears while sharing a heartbreak. She didn't give any advice or opinions, but she listened. And I super appreciate that. We parted ways as she still needs to go out with her family. LB and I looked for our blue shirts for their Family Day/Sports Fest in school this Friday. Then we bought food. Then we rolled home.

When I reached our gate, I didn't feel anything bad, except that it's too dark. When I opened the door, switched on the light, WALEY. No electricity! I panicked kasi may kuryente sa kapitbahay. I knocked (ng OA sa lakas) at the landlady's house and asked why. She said may gumawa daw sa post kasi nga it was fluctuating na for like 1 week already. At ako, nagalit. Kasi sabi ko ginawa na eh ba't wala pa ding kuryente. Baka daw sa fuse, sa circuit breaker. Eh leche, kung electrician ako, magtatanong ba ako? I know nothing about what they were saying. I know they were just concerned. But I f*ckin' need electricity for a light and a fan so we could peacefully sleep. Nagalit ako kasi natakot ako for me and LB; kami lang sa house eh. 

CRYBABY.

After kong masapian ni Beatrice (ng Ina Kapatid Anak), umiyak ako. Umiyak na parang bata. Meltdown ng bonggang-bongga. At pumili talaga ako ng magandang pwesto, para dramatic --- sa may hagdan. LB, unusually behaved and was sitting on the couch, approached me, rubbed my back and said "enough Nanay... Let's just pray.." Ay mothers, lalo akong naiyak kasi siya yung nagpapakatatag. I texted her pudrabelles, but to no avail. Gusto ko lang sana ng makikinig, alam ko naman na hindi siya makakauwi. Then I called Mama. She has work and LB's Kuya A has school early in the morning pa. Walang rescue. I texted my close friend M if I could call her, but instead she did. Ayun at nginalngalan ko siya habang may mga boy kuryente na kumakalikot sa bahay. M, if you're reading this --- super thank you. Sana magkalapit lang tayo para live yung pangngalngal ko. Anyway, while I was talking to M, nagliwananag ang buhay! Tawang-tawa yung isang boy kuryente kasi hindi lang daw nakalapat ng husto yung sa box sa labas. Lekat na yan, malay ko ba! Makapag-crash course nga niyan sa TESDA. 

Na-realize ko, nakakahiya ako sa mga neighbors. Mataray at suplada at manananggal ang peg ko dito sa "alley" namin, tapos umiyak dahil walang ilaaaaaaw?!? Yung 4 years old na anak, kalmado lang tapos ako umiyak? Shet. Laughing stock ako nito sa kanila habang nagkakape sila. Ako ang ipapalaman nila sa pandesal mamaya. Pero kiber. Nakitawa naman ako ng slight kay Kuyang kuryente na hindi mapigilan ang pustiso sa pag-alog. Haaaay. Mothers, may pinaghuhugutan naman yung meltdown na yun kanina eh. Hindi lang dahil sa kuryente yun no. Grabe naman. Pero oo, I admit. I'm a crybaby. I cry over simplest things.

COURAGE.

Perhaps, one of the deepest reasons why I bawled out like that was because it's Rhambo's birthday today and yeah, we're not together! Also, we're not in good terms. There, I said it! It's a revelation like no other. It's been a month since we have talked nicely to each other. Okay, whatever. Marital woes. Ayoko na kayong i-involve. And too much info na.

But to you birthday boy, I don't have a gift. I won't highlight my greetings in a post (but LB did! I hope you watched). I just wish you'll let your ass barf Emperador there at the camp, come home and let's talk. 

I love you and only God knows why.