13 October 2012

Self-Theories on Why Ectopic Pregnancy Happened to Me

When something good happens to you, you rejoice and happiness is just everywhere! Have you noticed that? But when it's something bad, you question. You sulk in and wonder why of all people, that one bad thing happened to you. It is so human, isn't it? When I knew I had a miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy, I asked why. I contemplated on why it happened to me. I thought I was at my healthiest. I thought nothing could go wrong. Most of the good people around me said God has a purpose on why He let me experience this phase. These good people also told me that He let me had the pain because He knows I can endure it, because He knows I'm strong. And well, some people even said (I don't know if it's with empathy) that the operation was like giving birth through ceasarian section. Yes, it was actually almost the same, except that a Fallopian tube and an appendix were taken out from me and not a baby I could cuddle with after. I agree that there must be something reasonable about all of these. I am a logical person. I don't just sit in with the idea that something occurs out of nothing. So I asked my OB what caused the ectopic pregnancy. She said, in a matter-of-factly statement: "it just happens, Denise". My battle mode self was not on at that moment that I didn't inquire for a more detailed information. 

Photo courtesy of University of Maryland Medical Center
A week after the very cinematic operation I had, I still wonder what caused those lazy egg and sperm cells to form outside my uterus. My mom, a no-nonsense woman, told me that R's sperm cell and my egg cell were too lazy to go inside the uterus and initially decided to relax themselves in the Fallopian tube, thus having what they called a tubal pregnancy. She actually has a point. Being the ever curious cat that I am, I went to my cyber bestfriend, Google. I stumbled upon a million links to my question "what causes ectopic pregnancy?" I scanned all the possible answers and eventually led me to some fruitful but practical explanations. I gathered the causes from different websites, which I deem related to me. First thing that shocked me was from ehealthMD, it says there that "it's important to remember that in most cases of ectopic pregnancy, the cause is unknown. However, several factors can raise your risk for an ectopic pregnancy"; one of the four factors the website mentioned is SMOKING

My smoking days in ABS-CBN {encircled: cigarette}
I used to smoke. You know, feeling Carrie Bradshaw of SATC. I was in my last year in college when I learned to smoke habitually. More on to relax and take my mind off from thesis and some college issues. When I graduated, my addiction to Marlboro Lights increased. Perhaps, because I can afford to buy it 'cause I was already earning and also due to where I was working. I worked for ABS-CBN's TFC and our office was like a freezer that you really need to go outside to thaw yourself, drink coffee and yes, partner it with a cigarette. It didn't change even if I have fallen in love. Hehe! There are guys who basically stop girls from smoking even if they themselves do it - a chauvinist control freak attitude. Not my ex-boyfriend, R, though. He smokes, too and that made us as smoking partners! Though I stopped doing it when I got pregnant, I still continued a little two months after I gave birth. God has always been a constant mover of my life. He used my daughter to make me quit smoking. That was when pneumonia hit Sophia. I quit smoking June 13, 2012. 

PID photo courtesy of
Public Health Watchdog
I was struck by that possibility. Smoking could be one of the reasons why I had ectopic pregnancy. Or, maybe because R still does (update: he stopped September 2016) and his sperm cell somehow influenced my egg cell. I really have no idea though, but I am hopeful that his smoking habit had nothing to with my difficulty of getting pregnant. Another thing that made my eyebrows met was PID or Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. According to eMedicine Health, "it is a term used to describe inflammation or infection of the uterus, fallopian tubes or ovaries, which is usually caused by a bacterial infection such as gonorrhea or chlamydia." My eyes grew round and big when I read the two STDs. Oh no, this cannot be. My OB hasn't told me about this so I don't need to worry. Right? Right? And another thing, I don't have an active sexual life, haha! Holyschmoly. My husband comes home whenever he can and that's the only time we have contact. Sigh. And, I trust him, you know. Whew, I'd rather settle with the reason that "it just happens" rather than thinking about PID. 

Photo courtesy of Steady Health
Other reasons indicated from the websites I have gathered information from are not applicable to what happened to me. However, Baby Center mentioned that taking a contraceptive mini pill can likely cause ectopic pregnancy. I actually do not take one because as what I've said, my sexual life is close to drought. Insert my pitiful face here. Then we can release an evil laugh! Most military wives or OFW wives can definitely feel for me. Anyway, I used to religiously take Trust pills when R was near home for military school last year; he used to come home every weekend. That may be a factor. 

All these questions and self-theories would be answered once I go back to my OB next week. I wish that  ectopic pregnancy is JUST ectopic pregnancy; that there is still hope for another baby even if I only have one Fallopian tube left. I'm sure Sophia wouldn't want all the attention to her, especially when she becomes a teenager.


  1. So impressed with your article, and somehow it gives us the awareness on the factors that may lead to ectopic pregnancy.

  2. It was 15 years when i experience that too. (ectopic pregnancy. I felt the same way. Asking myself why me of all people. But i never blame God why me? Coz i told myself God will never give me load that i could never carry.
    I may never be the Biological mother of my son. But i thank God coz he gifted me a child who never grew from my tummy but who grew from my heart. And gifted me too with a loving and understanding husband. My Superhero. My Superman.