My Facebook and Twitter news feeds were flooded with #RIPCoryMonteith hashtags yesterday. Honestly, I was not the slightest affected. I only watched Glee when our home-grown talent Charice performed in the show as Sunshine Corazon. So to feel a bit sad for Finn and Rachel (whom I've learned are a real couple and will get married in two weeks time) was not in my interest. It was not a sad Sunday as that when I felt when Aj Perez died. My whole day went through as usual, only a bit heavier 'cause my Army kind of guy went back to the camp; we had 2 1/2 days with him, hence my hiatus here. I was on the bed last night hearing my little punk's precious baby snores and doing that swiping thing on my phone. I was on Facebook. Then I saw this status with a photo:" It's gonna be hard but I'll try, mom. For you. I know you're up there and I know that you're in a better place. I love you so much, mom and I miss you already. I'll see you in another life."
It gave me wild goosebumps all over. And a heavier, so much heavier heart. That status was from my cousin's teenage daughter. My cousin, Katen, is my Ninang May's daughter, my father's cousin from Abaya side. We were not chummy close. I remembered not even talking to K when we were kids 'cause she's a bit older than me. And she was kinda soshal and all. It remained that way until she died. She was a cancer survivor. She had leukemia. But even with the illness, she remained beautiful, elegant and classy (as what I've seen on Facebook). She left two pretty young girls to her husband. But I'm ailing for my Ninang as she will see her daughter inside the coffin. I think it's every parent's nightmare. As I am typing these words, I'm actually in tears, choking, resisting to cry. I know that it's going to be a tough time for their family. I'm not sure if I would visit because honestly, I never had a warm relationship with my Ninang. I would surely feel awkward.
Nevertheless, it again made me realize how short and unexpected life is. The goosebumps scene was actually more dramatic because I was currently listening to Lenka's song: Live Like You're Dying. Sigh. Death, oh death --- my greatest fear. How about yours?