I am not a very religious person. I honestly do not go to church every Sunday. I am not proud of that, fyi. But believe it or not, I'm a very faithful woman. Yes, in all of its aspects; to God, most especially.
I have a very, very personal relationship with Him. I can feel His presence every time I call unto Him, even if it's as simple as waiting for a cab during peak hours. All of a sudden, a nice and new cab will arrive after a silent prayer. How miraculous. My faith has been tested and shaken when I got pregnant with LB out of wedlock. It was not a smooth 9-month journey but during the 1st trimester, God made me realize how important prayers are. I almost lost my now snoring little lady on my 2nd month of pregnancy. She almost wanted to go home to Him. Feeling the excruciating pain all over my abdomen and back, I prayed unceasingly. I told and asked God to lend the baby to me. And true to His words, He lent me a ball of energy --- my wisdom, Sophia.
As her parent, it is my obligation to introduce God and His words to her. But how, if I don't go to church? It's still possible. We pray every night. And yes, before meals. LB's aware that there is God. Actually, whenever I get mad at her and will forget that she's a child I will shout so loud; she will say something like "Lord, please change Nanay's heart", in my face. That one-liner will send shivers down my spine. Guilt. Self-abhorrence. Delusions of a wicked mom. But hey, I'm not totally a bad guy here! I taught her how to pray and ask for His guidance whenever she's in trouble. Ooh, she considered my mad face and yelling as trouble. I am changing gears, gradually, don't worry.
So at this season of commemorating what God has done for us, I am in total awe of how I can instill its importance to her innocence. Staycation may be one. I mean, I have nothing against those people who go to lavish vacations for Holy Week, 'cause these days may be their only time off from work. But I think it will send a different message to their kids. Like what Ramon Bautista said, "Lord, alam ko hindi ka pinako sa krus para magbakasyon ang mga tao, pero salamat na rin." It's funny but it's true. What do we want our kids to think of Jesus dying in the Cross of Calvary for us? Boracay? I'm not being a hypocrite here. Yes, we don't have money to go to Boracay yet, that's why; but being there on a Holy Week is suicide, practically speaking. I'm sure there are a lot of people headed to the beach as well. Right?
Like what my mom, Lola L, said about Valentine's; it may sound bitter but true, it was an occasion made for commercialism. We don't want that happening with the Lenten Season. So yes, I have changed my mind about painting hard-boiled eggs with LB because it's Easter. But will cook something special on Sunday. Our King is alive! There has to be a celebration. I will also tell her the story about Jesus dying for our sins, the way I understood it in Sunday School. Hmm. I might tell her that whenever she doesn't pack away her toys immediately, blood gushes from Jesus' body. Is that morbid? Laziness is a sin naman di ba? One of the deadliest pa nga. Okay, okay. Those are not the exact words. But similar.
Father, thank You for always, always putting up on me. I am really your favorite daughter. You never gave me problems I can't solve. It's always tough because You know I can handle it. You love me so much You gave me a husband who would test my patience and will change me become the woman that I should be. You highly cared for me You gave me a daughter who can make me laugh and teach me become a better Christian. You trusted me so much You gave me writing skills. We will use this palace to share Your goodness, soon. I love You, oh Lord. Thank You. Amen.