03 December 2012

Because It's 2nd in 7 Days

When will this waiting be over? I'm shedding a tear while writing this. It didn't only cause me eye bags from trying to bury myself in watching movies and staying up late at night; but also a bulgier tummy from pigging out on anything fatty. Anything rich in calories is not good. But I need to get back in shape again to make my husband feel that it's like the first time we see each other. Darndest.


This exact emotion is difficult to explain to a 4-year-old clueless kid so I don't share. I can't even explain it to myself. Neither will the single, naive & innocent helper can understand the tough situation I am currently into. Let her enjoy the pre-loved Yes! magazines I gave her. Waiting is not a new topic for me. As far as the military wives are concerned, it's second to trust. You got to learn to wait if you wish to marry a military guy. 7 days, 2 weeks or even months. Just wait. No questions asked.
This is so cliché but like what they said "she who waits, also serves". I am an army wife. I can't complain about waiting because I decided to be in this very moment. I remembered Mayor Amog, who officiated our civil rites wedding, said that I shouldn't just wait, that I should do something. That is what I am afraid of. That whenever I will start to do something and I have already poured my heart into it, it is when my wife duties call me. Another period of adjustment. While I thought being a mother is a tough job, there goes another --- being a wife, more so, an army wife.  You see, in my diary, motherhood came first before marriage. So these things are so shocking for me, until now. I just want to bawl out on my pillow and scream in a way I wouldn't wake my little girl up. I haven't decently talked to my Rhambo for like 15 days already! Yes, there were times when he could send me a message for like 5-6 times in 2 days, but it's been almost a week since I've received an sms from him. God knows how much I miss Rhambo. We've been like this when we're not married yet but its difficulty is so different now. Especially that we'll be celebrating our 2nd year anniversary in 7 days. I'll be really happy to at least receive a greeting from him on that day. Please, Lord.

A younger Rhambo in Mindanao, 2006. That's the toy I gave him.
Sigh. I worry about the guy. Does he eat? Oh, of course he does! Canned sardines floating in a liter of boiling water. How does he look like? Dirty, for sure. Jeez, tears again. I have suddenly thought of some bastards from the previous company, who think of soldiers as puppies of the government. I'm sorry, but you have to pass over my hot and sexy dead body first before you can tell that to his face! They are not puppies, excuse you, they are public servants.  

LB's art.
This may be a tad easy for me if only LB didn't say she misses her father earlier. She said it for like 4 times the whole afternoon. And she was clingy, hugging and kissing me. Then she drew something. She said it was me, Tatay, her and her "brother". Ooh, great ball of fire, I'm so pressured. My husband, though not directly, is giving me a hard time. Then my daughter would insinuate about having a brother? As if it's so easy to conceive with one Fallopian tube left in my reproductive system! This is so craziness overboard. Oh well, tomorrow is another day. I may rant here, there & everywhere, but nothing would change. I will wait until he comes home --- or at least texts me. Go, army! ❤

12 comments:

  1. so sad..:( anyway, happy anniversarry Ms. Denise!
    Take care and LB.:)

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    1. Yes, Ohms. Super miss ko na my soldier. Sa 10th pa naman ang anniversary. Thank you! :)

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  2. Awww... my heart goes out for you. Hang in there. I hope your husband can call soon.

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    1. I hope so, too. Kahit nga text lang. Let's all pray for him and his men. :)

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  3. awww... I feel you Ms. bebeng. Been following your blog for almost 2 weeks now. I'm not married to a military officr. My father is a retired Military officer. We lived in a camp for 21 yrs. nung bagets pa ko, he'd leave used shirt para katabi ko matulog every time aalis sya. :'( now, he's retired from the srevice and enjoys my bagets.:) wanted to become an officer sana or marry an officer {kase I wanted a sword wedding.hehehe} kaso my father discouraged me.
    hugs to you and to ur little angel.

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    1. Hello, Jenny. Thank you! :)
      I would really discourage my daughter to marry an officer kasi super hirap. My husband din ayaw niya na maging officer or makapangasawa ng officer si LB. But if that time would come na maka-meet siya eh who are we to control her heart. Basta ako, support na lang.

      Sana nga magtext naman na siya. Kahit text lang nga. Alam mo yung nakakaiyak na sa sobrang paghihintay.

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  4. Hi. Been following your blog for a month already. From your previous posts I can say it's really hard to ba an army's wife. You are so tough and I admire you for that. Hang in there. God is good all the time. He will find a way to make it happen. :)

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    1. Yes, being a wife is not that easy already, how much more to be the better half of a man whose life is always in danger. Thank you for always coming here. :)

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  5. Hi! Found your blog through Indigo Baby. I can so relate to all of your feelings in this post. Been a couple since high school, married for 5 years and only living together for the past year. It's awful when hubby is in the field, but I promise it eventually gets better. :)

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    1. Hello, that's true. Fights became less as we have learned to listen to each other more. Thanks! :)

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  6. Alam mo na that Father is a kawal. I remember my mom telling me na there was a time na di niya macontact si Father for months(wala pang celphones nun). Wala din feyra! Si mother, sa sobrang inis kay father na di nagpaparamdam, nagpadala ng telegram from my sister who was 1-year old then saying "DADDY, SEND MONEY. NO MILK." Then we found out na-ambush si father sa Samar. :( pero he's okay naman. Alive naman siya... may bala lang siya sa tiyan 'til now :)

    Heniway, di kita tinatakot! Gusto lang kita patawanin :) Mommy said that you have to be strong. Being an officer's wife is a hard job but it will indeed get better.. just keep on praying for hubby's safety :)

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    1. Howmaygad, D. Naborkot naman ako sa bala sa tiyan na yan. Hindi ko ata keri na magkaganun si Rhambo. Ever! Anyway, tama ka, mas mahirap nga noon na walang cellphone at Skype. Haay. Pasasaan ba at magreretiro din siya, masosolo ko din siya. Tuwing nasa work kasi siya pakiramdam ko kabit lang ako. Hehe.

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