24 November 2012

When a 15-minute Tantrum Challenges a Fabulous 4-year-old Motherhood

As a human being, I have a love-hate relationship with life. As a woman, I'm into pink, floral, Hello Kitty, chick flicks but I fart aloud and can lift the fridge if I need to. As a daughter, I remembered that I always have something for Mama's birthday when I was younger; be it a 10-peso single white rose or a DIY greeting card but I also answer back when I think I should. As a friend, I'm tactless and sometimes uncaring but when someone hurts one of them, I make sure I'm there not just to back them up but to leave a bitchy speech for the assaulter. As a wife, I can cook good food that R likes, I wash his clothes with and without complaining and I believe love-making is the best exercise. As a mother, well, uhm, I love my daughter. Is that enough?

I am a four-year-old mother.

Isn't it FPJ that said "marami ka pang kakaining bigas"? That's what I am as a mother! Oh, we don't eat rice grains, Mr. FPJ, we eat rice, as in kanin. Hehe. Anyway, I just had one of these mudrabelle kudos moments for myself earlier at school today after Sophia's 2nd individual assessment. She was cheerful to go to school as she was wearing her tiny purple tutu skirt. She played a bit while waiting for her turn. When she was already inside doing the tasks, I saw that she's happily doing it. Whoa, when she got outside asking for more time to play and the routine-conscious soul in me told her she has to wear her slippers first without my help, she went wild - literally. She wailed loud enough for the birds in the nest to fly away and for the cocoons to eagerly transform to be a butterfly. Yes, it was such a scene! One of the teachers who passed by told me to never give in. When Ate Maritess tried to get the slippers as I am ignoring my little drama princess' telenovela-worthy monologues, one of Sophia's teachers told her not to. I think it took her 15-20 minutes to finally stop from her what-seemed-to-be-endless bout of tears. 

These are what I tried to do for my tantrum warrior to stop (here are some tips in case you need it):

  • IGNORE. This tactic is perfect for her cow-like cry. If I will tell her to hush, she will definitely, by all means, make it a thousand times louder. So, dedma! And also, PLEASE ignore those people giving you the look as if you have committed a crime. 
  • RUB HER BACK. While I was ignoring her (not completely though), I was silently rubbing her back. I hope this made her feel that even if I won't give in, I still care. Sheesh, what a softie. I know you mudrabelles can relate.
  • WALK AWAY. Also known as walk-out. I learned this trick from my husband whenever I'm at my pep squad member self. LOL. Unfortunately, this didn't work for my girl. It almost caused some major damage to her emotional state. I told myself to try not to do it again. 
  • EYE TO EYE CONTACT - When I did this with my eyes full of rage, Sophia only cried like a wimp bullied. So I think if you will do this, try to smize a la Tyra Banks the motherly way, not the one with a basket full of rotten apples. 
  • REWARD - Carrots are better than sticks. I pretended that I was only talking to Ate Maritess and insinuated that we might eat at Mc Donald's for lunch. This will distract her from her own emotions. The little girl slowly stopped from crying and then...
  • CHANGE THE TOPIC - I segued that insinuation to noticing her two smileys (stamps) at the back of her palms. She was all smiles telling me about how she got the two. 

Whew, it was a success! The last two tactics were effective because it matched her personality.

I am in no position to sound like an expert here but I strongly believe that each kid has to be approached with a parenting style uniquely created by his/her mom and dad. Because only parents know their children well (oh, except for those who really do not care about the little ones - I have met a few). Don't you just haaaaaate those instances when a stranger (say, a neighbor) would tell you how to raise your kid?! Or a not-so-close relative mindlessly shares how he/she reprimands his/her daughter when a scene like what my babe did happens? Ay naku mudras, I do not just take it all in. I sometimes tell them some scholarly things that experts say. But most of the time, I do it my sarcastic-funny way. Like if she's being compared to some kid her age, I would say smiling, without batting an eyelash "eh hindi naman kasi siya si (insert the name of the kid being compared to my daughter)".

I just hope that more parents will take each kid as an individual and not as a minion that is the same as the another. And for them to bear in mind that unsolicited advice, may it be done in good faith, is still unsolicited; especially if the concerned parent is going through a tough time. Those kind of advice are very unnecessary.

Oh well, I think I am sounding to be such a brag queen here just because I didn't give in to one crazy tantrum today. Don't worry folks, we are still one in spending our prayer time in the parental asylum whenever my little heiress to Incredible Hulk feels like going Kingkong. Woot! Here's to the best job in the world - cheers! Or not. 


  1. Haha. The hardest part is not in giving in but the eyes that look at you from head to foot. Ang hirap pag umeeksena ang bagets sa public. Congrats! Isang nakakalokang araw na naman ang iyong napag tagumpayan :)

  2. Cheers to our makukulit kids! :)

  3. Wow good job Bebeng! I realized that as a mother you really have to be tough (in all sense of the word). I will take this with me for when I need it with Moe. Goodluck to me! Haha! :)

    Ganda ni Pia kahit bagong iyak. :)

    -Myla S.

  4. I usually just let the tantrum pass. I remember doing that in a restaurant and I heard another mother say that I'm a bad mother for not being able to control Kelly. I think I posted that in Facebook, haha. Oh well- iba iba talaga ng pag handle sa bata eh.

  5. I can really relate. Talagang pag hands-on ka sa anak mo, u know what tactics to use and I hate it when people suggest things na parang may obligasyon ka talagang sundin. What will work for my son may not work for others. Thanks for the post!

  6. relate ako, sis, dun sa mga tao na nangangaral sa pagpapalaki ng anak pero wag ka, sila ang hindi maayos mag-alaga sa mga kids nila. asar much!